Back to main page
by Ellen Mandeville, 6/97
Well it's official. More than eight months after our wedding we are now officially married. Isn't that nice? No, no, this has nothing to do with bedrooms and consumation. It has to do with dinghies and the construction thereof. When we told Todd's mom that we were engaged, she said "You can't get married; you haven't finished the dinghy!" We finally finished the dinghy, so now we are officially married.
You see, long before I met Todd I formed a theory on how to test for marital compatability. I formed this theory after being on a committee sponsoring a Catholic young adult regional dance. We had over two-hundred people at that dance. We met our objectives: much fun was had by all and we had enough money to pay off our loans and to put on another dance. Not bad when the planning committee had first all met only a month and a half before.
Which brings me to Brian. Brian and I had never met before that first planning meeting. I thought he was pretty cute in that "up-right citizen/bread winner" sort of way. I don't know what he thougth of me because we never dated. I learned more about Brian, his working methods and communication skills in that one month and half than I would have in a year of dinners and movies. He didn't seem so cute anymore. He seemed officious and overbearing.
So my theory is this: if you really want to get to know someone and how well you can work through life's ups and downs together, plan and execute a major project together. Living together doesn't count. Unless, of course, you build the house first.
Todd liked my theory. He liked it so well, we completed oodles of projects before he screwed up the courage to pop the question. The first project was our dinghy. We decided to build a dingy because we were talking seriously about living onboard a sailboat together. But before we build a rowing/sailing dinghy, perhaps we should build something else to get used to the matierials we'll be using. So we designed and built a dock box out of plywood and epoxy. It turned out well, we still have it. And as long as we we're building a dock box, how about some dock steps? (Keep in mind that we still didn't have a sailboat yet...) Sure, dock steps are a fine idea. We designed them and built them and somehow they turned out to be perfect boarding steps for the sailboat we eventually bought. So now we were ready for the dinghy. We had the plans, we had the material, we began to cut and glue nifty plywood shapes. We were progressing nicely and decided to definitely move aboard a sailboat together.
What about getting married, you ask? Well, Todd expanded on my theory and proposed that living happily aboard a sailboat together would be the ultimate test in compatability. For you see, living aboard an older sailboat is one project after another. We were almost done with the dinghy when we moved aboard Mandolin. And somehow all work on the dinghy ceased as we found projects aboard Mandolin.
I came to learn that projects encourage other projects. At least Todd always sees the other projects to be done in relation to the project in progress. A favorite line of his is, "As long as we're doing this, why don't we..." I don't remember what we were doing in the lazerette when Todd decided it would be a good time to remove the water heater, but I remember heaving that full eight gallon water heater off the boat together. I've learned of Todd's optimistic nature: "How heavy do you think that water heater was, fifty pounds?" Well water weighs eight pounds a gallon times eight gallons plus the heater itself, which was awfully heavy after we emptied it out; so I think it was a little more than fifty pounds full.
As long as we had the mast down, why don't we paint it? And replace the standing rigging? And run the halyards on the inside of the mast? And place a tube inside for the electrical wires going up the mast? And put a new light and a wind indicator on top? And ... And I learned that Todd is the more forward thinking of the two of us and he learned that I tend to think more of enjoying today's pleasures. Which used to frustrate both of us until we have both learned how these different mindsets can compliment each other. What about the dinghy? It was now languishing in a storage unit wondering if it would ever get finished while we ripped out sinks, toilets and holding tanks, replaced thruhull valves and plumbing hose, and installed stereo systems and lights. For Valentine's Day Todd installed a nifty soap dispenser for me. I reciprocated by putting teak strips on the dock steps for him. Home improvements become so romantic when you can't collect a lot of stuff. After one of the wettest winters in years, we were finally able to paint the mast, replace all the hardware and put it back up. Happy day!! Now we could work on replacing and releading all the lines and running rigging which controlls the sails. You know, projects just never quit on a sailboat. We were finally able to take Mandolin sailing a few times when we decided to accept a job offer Todd had received in Portland, Oregon. Todd's new company paid for the move which included emptying out the boat into storage boxes and into a moving van, taking off the mast (hey! We just put that up!), and watching Mandolin drive away on the back of a trailer. The dinghy went into the moving van as well.
I was beginning to wonder if we were ever going to get married, or just spend the rest of our lives working on projects. I had created a project monster. We started to have talks about the pros and cons of getting married.
I don't know which project finally decided it. Perhaps it was the day Todd wondered why were weren't making more definite cruising plans and I informed him it was hard to make such long term plans when we hadn't made a decision about getting married. I wondered what was taking him so long. We were obviously compatable, we loved each other, we envisioned spending the rest of our lives together and he knew that I wasn't interested in just living together for the rest of our lives. Perhaps it was the fact that we had just completed a sail repair seminar together. I'm not sure if it was any specific project, but after working on the dinghy for a few months and Mandolin for almost a year, Todd finally dared to ask me to be his wife.
And a wedding is certainly a project as any bride and groom can tell you. So for almost another year, the dinghy languished while we prepared for our wedding and prepared Mandolin some more to take up to our wedding. But it wasn't official, was it? The dinghy wasn't finished... But now, three years after beginning work on the dinghy, it is complete! It is painted (grey and green, very nice), it has oars and oarlocks, we have taken it rowing. Sure, we haven't built the sailing rig for it yet, and it could use some padding around the gunnels. But it's in the water! And we've been rowing in it!
I think it's very appropriate that there is more we can do to upgrade and improve our dinghy just as there always seems to be another project or two or three on Mandolin. When we bought Mandolin, it was just the beginning of all she had in store for us. When we said "I will" it was just the beginning of our married lives together. We will continue to grow and learn and love together just as we continue to upgrade, improve and maintain all of our boats. So it's official! We're married! And the projects continue...
June 12,1997
Home - Logs - Stories - Photos - Statistics